Hard Promises Part I
by crutchytheunicorn
Summary: The newsies struggle with making a living, but Mush has something else to worry about. What will happen when he comes out to his best friend, and how will that change him?


Prolouge

"Heya, Kid." Skittery greeted the two newsies coming up from behind the statue in the square. He looked at Mush, who had forgotten to wipe the blood and tears off, and then at the other, whose eye patch was loose. "What happened? Was it the Delancies?"

Kid's eyes narrowed. He took in a deep breath before answering, trying not to lash out again. "We was playing around with these two girls down at the post office when a scabber come 'round with a ladder. Swung it right at Mush's face by accident. Ain't that right, we was just tryin' to get a girl and he gets hit in the face."  
>Mush scowled. Nearly the lie of the century, he thought. But it wasn't true. He had carried on a much bigger lie for years, and now that it was exposed, he felt empty. He watched as Kid laughed with the others, and went off to play marbles with the littler ones. He put a hand to his chest - it was beating almost to the sun. And then he ran.<p>

Down the street, past the theatre and down to Bottle Alley. The place where he and Kid had met as children, once a place he loved, but now cursed by the memory of this day. He forgot why he had come here, then a sweet little rang out from the darkness:

"Mush? Is that you?"

He smiled, and crept into the abandoned shoe factory. Tip-toeing up the stairs, he called her. "Yeah, it's me."

A candle was lit and he followed the light. His friend, a tiny little girl wearing nothing but one of his work shirts, crawled out from behind a door. The shirt was nearly black with soot now, and so were her golden braids. She was his only friend, the only one that understood him for who he was. He presented her with two gifts: The biscuit he had saved from breakfast and a doll made out of newspaper. She grabbed for them, and hugged his leg before letting him sit down.

Mush felt for her. All alone in this big factory, a little orphan no older than six, and she only had him to look up to. His eyes filled with tears as he thought to himself:

_You vile creature. Disgusting, rotten. Not even a Bull would dare touch you if they knew who you are. Even your best friend wanted nothing to do with you. You could never pass for a human._

"So," the little girl said between bites. "Did you tell him?"

"Yeah. I told him."

"And what'd he say."

"He didn't take it very well.

She looked up, and reached out a frail, tiny hand. He let her skim her fingertips over his face, against the dried blood. "He done that?"

"No." He whispered, taking her hand in his.

"Tears."  
>"Yeah." He looked at the tiny fingers, pale and so tiny compared to his. So innocent. Unlike him. "He had something to do with that."<p>

"Tell me everything."  
>"You're a little young."<p>

"No I'm not, I'm five and three-quarters. Now. Please."  
>He sighed, reached forward and fixed her collar. "Alright. It started like this…"<p>

Jack, of all people, was the one who started it. He snuck up behind Oscar, and mocked him behind his back. The newsies tried to stifle their laughter, but Oscar could tell something was up. Mush and the others watched as he proceeded onto the ramp, and then was pushed off by the leader. He fell flat on his face, and the newsies exploded with laughter. Even Weasel behind the counter cracked a smile. Mush, whom Kid was leaning on, smiled along with then. Kid turned and playfully slapped him on the face, just as he had always done. Mush had been waiting for that, he had always been waiting for that. He guessed Kid did it because they were friends and had been for years…Mush had another feeling. However, he couldn't let it slip, so he continued to laugh.

"What are you looking at?" Oscar sneered, towering over him.

"You."  
>"Oh," Oscar pushed on the boy's shoulders, sending him back into the wall. "How about now?"<br>Mush panicked. He had never been singled out before, except maybe jokingly by Jack or Skittery. Plus, Kid was watching, which made him grow nauseous. It was easy to see that he liked him, but he masked it well. So he sucked in his breath and spat in Oscar's face.

"Alright!" The newsies laughed again, Kid congratulating him. Oscar came back with a ready fist - the others stopped him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." said the one with the eye patch.

Oscar sneered at Mush, whose eyes widened immensely. "We'll get you later, you lousy bastard."

Mush grew dizzy as Kid assured him not to worry. The two were standing awfully close, he thought; and his heart started up again, echoing in his ears. He examined Kid's face in the sunlight - the smile, the hair…the eye. That _damn eye patch…_

"C'mon!" Weasel banged his fist against the bars. "I ain't got all day."  
>Mush stepped up, still dizzy. He knew Weasel wasn't patient, but he had to catch his breath. He slowly slid the coins under the bar, and took the papers. They felt heavy, like a pound of bricks. Then again, everything felt heavy around Kid. Was it the feeling he had to impress the boy, or was it just because?<br>He proceeded past Jack and Skittery, staring at his feet. The sun blinded him as he stepped into the square. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted two girls with white parasols and blue satin sashes. The rich kind of lady. They began to giggle and shyly look away. At first he thought it was because of him, but really Kid was standing there too, winking at them.

"Look at them angels." He laughed, smiling. "How about I take the blonde and you get the other?"

"See," Mush stammered, "I don't - you - that's what I need to tell you."  
>Kid had started to run after them, but turned back to his friend. "Huh?"<br>Mush knew the words to say. _I don't like girls. I like someone else_. But that was too hard to say.

The girls were leaving, and in a last attempt, fixing his thumbs in the corner of his vest, he said, "how about I take them both?"

"Sure. Why not." Mush watched his friend bound off down the street, nearly heartbroken. It happened almost every day, and he knew he would get over it. Just as he always had done.

That eye patch, thought, it bothered him. Maybe Kid was using it as a security blanket, self-conscience. Mush didn't care about the scar, in his mind Kid was perfect. He was the broken one. He pitied himself as he rounded the corner, reading the obituaries. He wished he was one of them. Would Kid mourn him? Nah, probably not. Maybe steal his money and treat those girls to a meal. But never mourn.

He passed the market, yelling fake headlines, trying to get the matter off his mind. The streets of New York were busy, and he enjoyed getting all the attention. Yet he couldn't help wondering if he was moving too soon. Maybe he was fooling himself.  
>He bent down to tie his shoelace, and was kicked to the ground immediately. He knew what was coming.<p>

"How's it feel know?" said Morris as his brother spat on Mush in revenge. "Don't feel so hot, do it."  
>"Heya, guys." Mush kept his head down, standing up and brushing himself off. "I got papes to sell and you probably gotta be somewhere too. So let's not do this today. Alright?"<p>

He tried going around, but they stopped him. When he tried to walk away, Morris took him by the hair and pulled him into the alley.

"Little orphan don't wanna fight." Oscar taunted, circling him like a vulture. "Not without his cripple friend here to save him."  
>Mush felt anger rush through him, and said loudly: <em>"He has a name<em>."

Morris laughed. "Of course he does. We don't want to be rude to your little friend. If that's all you are."

Feeling his face turn several shades of red, he rushed towards the scabber and barreled him into the wall. In a flash his arms were twisted up by Oscar, wanting to forget everything as Morris punched him in the stomach over and over. Blood began to fill his mouth, and he gagged. The blood dribbled down his chin as he was thrown in the dirt. He tried to wipe it off, but only spread it more around. He gave up, wanting to die, to leave this place forever, like Jack once did. And then a cloud of dust was kicked in his face. He felt the tears flowing now, flooding the cement. As the dust cleared, he looked up to see a familiar figure standing there in the sunlight. He put his head back down, crying, humiliated.

Oscar grabbed his collar and jerked him up to face his nightmare. "Look here, orphan," he said right into his ear, "Your little crip of a boyfriend is here."

Kid watched as Mush was pushed back down, his forehead cut on the cement. He was caught off guard by Oscar's remark, but adjusting his eye patch he said, "What's goin' on, fellas?"  
>"Nothing." Why don't you run off and play with that gimp? You two got something in common."<p>

Kid charged forward and shoved them both into a crate, bashed the younger one into the wall. Mush couldn't look, but sure he was soaking them, and good. The dust was sticking to his tears, the blood too. It seemed like forever, he was counting the seconds. Then he heard footsteps fading. He rolled onto his back. Kid was sitting next to him, his back turned. Mush choked back, regretting everything. He didn't mean for Kid to get hurt. He would do anything to change that. But he couldn't.

"Are they gone?" He asked.

"Yeah. It's over." Kid winced, putting a hand to his bad eye.

"What?" Mush tried to sit up, his chest heaving. "What'd they do to you?"  
>"It ain't nothing."<br>"No - really." He tried to sit up, but his hero put a hand on his chest and gently pushed him back down to rest. "C'mon. They hurt your eye?"  
>"Kid sounded angry now, eyes flashing. "I told you it don't matter no more. Why didn't you fight back? You're strong. And Oscar, don't worry about him. You know he was joking when he called me your boyfriend."<br>Mush started to shake. He tried to confess, confess everything he should have years ago. Before it got like this. But he couldn't.

"We'll get 'em tomorrow. You and me, best friends, right? We gotta stick together."  
>"Kid, stop." Mush sat up on his knees behind his friend, nervous and in a cold sweat. "Just let me see it."<br>The hero turned, his eyes widening. Again, they were close, a little too close for Kid, that was obvious. Mush reached out with trembling hands and carefully removed the eye patch. Kid reached for it once his friend's breath was off his face. But Mush held it farther away, smiling, for a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"You don't have to hide it." He whispered.

Kid started at him for a minute, scanning him over with narrow eyes. With short, piercing breaths, he stood up and took the eye patch back. "What's going on here, Mush?"  
>"I don't care about the scars or bruises or whatever yous got, OK? All those girls - they were a lie. I never liked girls anyways…you, though…" Mush's smile vanished as Kid backed up against the far wall, eye patch back on. He looked scared. "What's wrong?"<br>"You're disgusting."

"I'm sorry-"

"So, you like me now? You're a _fairy_?" Kid held his hand out and acted like he was backing away further as Mush stepped forward. "_No. _Don't come near me."  
>"Don't tell Jack and the others, alright? They'll never let me live it down."<br>And suddenly he was back on the ground, Kid's hand around his throat. In a way he saw it coming. But he was chilled at these next words:  
>"Shut up and hear this: You ain't yourself. You know you can't be doing this. What have you turned yourself into?" Kid whispered in a low voice. "Cheese it, OK?"<br>"I can't!" Mush was running out of breath, wheezing as his 'friend' made his grip even tighter.

"Yes, you can. Now we are going to go sell papes and go home. Everything will be normal. And you've gotta figure this out and become you again. Got it?"

"Yes! Yeah, please just stop." Mush cried.

Kid stood up and walked out to the street, not even helping him up. Mush still wondered why Kid had gotten so upset. The two could no longer be friends, or at least be as close as they once were. But they pretended to forget about it, or at least Kid did, shouting headlines together. Kid still winked at the girls, and Mush kept with him. Neither of them wanted to knew what to do after that.

Epilogue

"And what I don't get it," He finished, her head in his lap, "Is how people can pretend like something didn't happen when you know it did."

She agreed with him, sucking on her thumb. "That's a touchin' good story."  
>"I guess."<br>She sat up. At this point, the hole in the roof showed it was nighttime, and she stumbled in Mush's boots to get her new doll . "Your friend sounds like a scabber. Just because you might like him don't change who you are inside. I ain't seein' how liking the same kind of person as you is bad. People should be able to love whoever."

He smiled, and took her in his arms. 'Finally,' he thought, 'someone has the right idea'.

Muffled in his shirt, she said: "Medda ain't my hero no more, Mush."  
>"Oh yeah?" He released her, laughing at the incapability she had to pronounce R's and S's.<p>

"Yeah." She took the paper dress off the doll and put on his hat, playing dress-up. "You are."

He repeated those words over and over again. He repeated things a lot, but all those words had no meaning. These did. He took his cap and shoes back, combed out her hair, and said goodnight.

That little girl gave him hope, he thought as he tiptoed down the stairs and out the double-doors of the factory, papers in hand. He would have to eat them later, but he didn't care. Someone finally understood him, someone he could trust. Speaking of that, Kid was probably telling Racetrack all about it through the thin mattress. Mush was really dreading the lodging house, fearing Jack or Skittery was ready at the gates to soak him for being a fairy - but he tried to think on the bright side. Maybe they actually _lowered _the price this time around. Maybe Bumlets wouldn't snore tonight, or perhaps Jack wouldn't get shaving cream in his eye again. Or maybe -

"Mush?"

He turned around to see the girl running toward him. He knelt down, catching her in his arms. When she buried her tiny face in his shoulder, he patted her on the back and asked,

"You alright?"

She shook her head and looked up. Wiping her nose with her sleeve, her eyes asked for her. She was scared.

Mush got it. She was alone too, she in an abandoned factory with no one but the rats, and he with a broken heart. As her eyes heaved with sleepiness, he picked her up and carried up back upstairs. She was already asleep when he laid her down on the mattress behind the door. He lay down next to her, and put the newspaper doll in her arms. They were two friends - equal in both situations, understandings, and hope. They had never been better off.

And then he blew out the candle.


End file.
